Spirituality Guide

Love, they say, is blind.
To some extent that is true. Sometimes we overlook obvious flaws because we are in love.

But, I always believe that it is possible to love and be wise.

If you look beyond the obvious. If you love what is on the inside of the person and not based on the physical attributes alone.

If you look for godly virtues and not what is temporary.
‘What is essential is invisible to the eyes.’

True love is a gift from God.
God is a God of Truth.
True love therefore must be based on truth.

This is a huge deviation from my usual spiritual topics but I believe that beauty inside and out has much to do with person’s spirituality.

Outside appearances to some degree help buoy our spirits, make us walk tall and have more confidence.

Here are some tips on how to be spiritual at the same time fashionable:

Shopping for a dress could be a headache especially if you are clueless on what to buy and there are hundreds if not thousands of dresses to choose from.

So here are a bundle of tips to help you choose wisely:

1. Know the occasion

Which occasion do you plan to wear the dress? Or, what’s the dress for? Is it for your birthday? A friend or relative’s wedding? Christmas? Ordinary get-together?

Knowing the kind of event you are going to attend would greatly help in determining the kind of dress you buy. If it is a ’strictly formal’ event then you need something that fits that category.

The gneneral rule though is that if the event is held in the latter part of the day (from 6pm upwards), it usually means more formal. Dress with dark colors are often required for evening wear.

2. Know Your Strengths

In choosing a dress, it is important to keep in mind what your assets are. You should play up your strengths and play down your weaknesses. For instance, if your asset is your long jet black hair then find a dress that allows you to wear your hair down. A dress with a low neckline will allow you to do just that.
Imagine if the dress has turtle-neck, then you will be force to tie your hair.

If you dont know what your assets are then ask a trusted friend or your other half for insights. Knowing your assets could be more important than knowing the latest trends or designs.

3. Pick a color that flatters you

You should choose a color that fits your skin tone or your eyes.

Dont just wear black at evening gathering. Try other colors too. It doesn’t hurt to experiment. As a rule, dark colors are worn at evening gatherings while light or soft colors are worn at daytime.

4. Choose Classic styles

Sometimes following the latest trends is not advisable especially if the style does not fit you. If the latest trend is on tight-fitting clothes and you are on the bigger side, it would not be good to wear them just to be fashionable.

Instead, invest on dresses with classic style. A simple A-line black dress never goes out of style. Black or white pants are also classic must-have’s.

You can never go wrong with these choices. If you want to play it safe go with the styles that are long-lasting. It would not be good if you look at your birthday photo 10 years ago dressed in something you don’t want to see.

5. Spend within the limits.

In buying the perfect dress, don’t overspend on a single dress. It is good to have an idea beforehand on how much you should spend for the dress. Have a budget and try to stick to it. You don’t want to pay for a dress that you will not likely wear or will be out of fashion six months from now.

6. Dress your age

Choosing the perfect dress requires that you dress your age. It will be fashion suicide to dress like a teenager when you’re way beyond your teen years. For instance, if you’re in the early 40’s, wouldn’t it be better if you dump the leather mini skirts or very
tight jeans out of your wardrobe?

It’s okay to wear something out of the ordinary at times but not every time.

Growing old is a blessing. So don’t be afraid to wear something that fits your age. It is not only fashionable it will also make you look respectable.

7. Go with your gut

Okay, so you’ve map out a carefully, fool-proof plan to choose the perfect dress. The next part and the most important one is actually buying the dress. When shopping, it would be best to just let your instincts decide. Don’t over analyze everything so much so that when you finally get the chance to choose you freeze.

Follow the gut feel. It is good to set aside any prior misconceptions and just let your instinct take over.

If you find a dress that makes you feel excited then that is the time to let your intellectual side take over and analyze the dress. See if the sytle fits you, if the color flatters your eyes or complements the skin tone, if it is within your budget, if it shows
off your assets. If you answer ‘yes’ to most or all of the questions then chances are you found the perfect dress.

8. Glam up

No doubt about it, accessories could add glamor to the dress. Earrings, bracelets, necklace, brooch, watch and rings are just a few of the things you can wear to match the dress.

Try not to over accessorize though because it might end up unglamorous for you. Less is more. Bear that in mind. That is the quintessential rule of fashion.

9. Carry the Dress Well

Now that you found the perfect dress and you spruced it up with accessories, then it’s time to show your find.

If you are able to carry the dress well, with the posture and bearing it deserves then you give it the justice it deserves. After all, finding the perfect dress is only half the story. The other half is how you project it.

Stress is unavoidable. Everyday we are exposed to stress. Some as mundane as getting late in an appointment to as profound as getting married.

Stress is a fact of life. It can be an effective stimulant that motivates a person to do more and be more. Or, in some cases, too much stress could cause various ailments to a person.

The trick is to make sure stress does not reach dangerous levels. Moderation is the key. Even Jesus recognized this fact when he took time off from his tasks and spend time alone to pray.

As Christians, there are a number of resources available to us to help us cope or minimize stress to a manageable level. Below are some of the ways:

1. Talk to God. God is available for you 24/7. You don’t need to spend money to be able to talk to HIM. Make use of this valuable opportunity. God cares for you deeply and He wants to hear what you got to say. From everyday cares to really serious problems, He is willing to listen. HE will never let you down.

2. Sleep at least 6 hours a day. For those in their teens, 8 hours would be better. This will give time for your body to replenish energy and recover from stress.

3. Know your working limits. Sometimes we accept way too much work, more than we can handle. Learn to say ‘No’ to additional workloads. Before doing multi-tasking it is important to know your limits and don’t go beyond it.

4. Live within your means. Needless to say, spending beyond your budget is stressful. So avoid it at all means. Refrain from using credit cards if possible.

5. Eat right. Don’t overeat. Don’t eat junk foods all the time. Choose food wisely. Make sure that what you eat contains the essentials: carbohydrates, proteins and vitamins. A healthy body is the best way to combat stress.

6. Exercise. Exercise is a sure-fire way to stay healthy and beat stress. Do it 10 minutes everyday when you wake up. If you can’t, then find time to walk everyday. Park your car some distance from the office so you will be forced to walk. Take the stairs not the elevator. Take your time roaming around when buying groceries.

7. Make a schedule. Write down what needs to be done. Then allot time to accomplish them. This way you know exactly where to go and what to do next. You don’t want to go to the bank and when you get home realize that you should have passed by the grocery store. Plotting your daily schedule will save you
time, money and energy.

8. Take some time off. It’s not always work and work. All work and no play makes one dull, so goes the adage. If you work hard, keep the balance in your life by finding time to play or have fun. Go out with friends. Dine out with your significant other. Have a
massage. Take your mind off from work and have fun!

9. Utilize the mind. The state mind affects the body. Employing the mind for relaxation techniques is another way to beat stress. Imagination is an effective way to counter stress. Clinical studies have shown that using your imagination to picture peaceful sceneries is a good stress-reliever. Take a break from work. Go to some place where you can be alone for a few minutes. Close your eyes and imagine the most peaceful scenery you can think of. Meditation and self-hypnosis are also effective ways to utilize the mind to counter stress.

10. Read the Bible. I have a friend who reads the Bible every night before going to sleep. And she wakes up feeling refreshed every morning. No worries. No stress. Just a light, joyful feeling that stays with her throughout the day. Ask God for wisdom to
understand His Words. Reading the bible could do wonders to your nerves.

11. Have a joyful heart. Smile at people. Find humor in littlest things. Don’t fret when something goes wrong. Laugh at it instead. Don’t allow petty things to upset you. ‘A joyful heart is the best medicine’.

12. Forgive. Hating people will not do us any good. Hating doesn’t hurt the one you hate. As a matter of fact, the person may not even be aware that you hate him/her. It hurts you more because you will be under huge stress carrying it’s burden in your heart. Resentment blocks God’s blessings. Forgiveness will release the hatred and resentments. It will also make you happier and closer to God.

13. Reach out to people. Be friendly and sociable. Talk to people when queuing up in grocery stores or bank. Smile at people at work. Give to charitable institutions. Support worthwhile goals like
environment protection. The more love you give, the more will come back to you.

14. Pray ceaselessly. I make it a habit to pray to God every possible moment I can find. One time I was really sick and had a hard time sleeping. My fiance told me that to calm my mind I need to get a piece of paper and a pen. Then, he told me to pray to God that He will guide my mind and reveal to me the words that will enable me to sleep. So I did just that. And voila! The words ‘Jesus please heal me’ keeps running in my head. So I wrote that down and repeated it numerous times in a day. I had a speedy recovery after that. Until now, I still pray ceaselessly by repeating words that God revealed to me thru prayers. It does
wonders to my health. Try it!

When I was ten my grandma gave me a pair of small, round diamond earrings. The diamond earrings were set perfectly on top of a heart-shaped gold. There was a clip behind it that secured the earrings tightly to my ears.

It was beautiful. It was unique. Nobody else had a set of earrings like that. Others looked so simple. Mine was elegant. I was the envy of my girl playmates. It was a symbol of girlhood pride. And I basked under its glory. I was like an enamored suitor so attached to my object of affection.

Then one day, after I played outside our house, I was devastated to find out that one of my most-cherished earrings was gone! I went out to search for it. Certainly, I must have dropped it somewhere. So I searched every nook and corner. I even enlisted some of my friends to join in the search. Again and again, I went back to the spot where I played to look for the missing earring. All to no avail.

The next day I did the same thing. I searched the place thoroughly. Still, the lost earring eluded me. All my hopes in finding it had been dashed. The next few days passed like a nightmare. I cried most of the time. When I looked at my one earring, I would inevitably be reminded of the one I lost. My ears felt naked without it. I felt I had it for so long, it had become a part of me. It made me feel special. Without it, I felt incomplete. I felt undistinguished. In a way I lost more than an earring. I lost my self-esteem. I had identified myself closely to it that it was hard to be whole again without it.
As the days dragged on and the earrings still out of plain sight, I became frustrated. I was practically inconsolable. I was in no mood to play. Everybody was affected by my mood swings. Yet they were as helpless as me.

Probably part of the frustration I felt was due to the realization that I was helpless. I never felt helpless before. It was the saddest feeling I knew. The attachment I felt towards the earring made me felt powerless to control things. I also find it hard to let go of my loss. When you lost something so precious you hold on to the pain of the loss for as long as possible; because, in some weird way, you knew that it would somehow bring you closer to the thing you lost. The pain served as a constant reminder of the thing I lost. If I let go of mourning, it would tantamount to letting go of the earring completely. I was not prepared to do that just yet.

I refrained from going to the place where I lost my earring. It became a dreaded place for me. It served as a painful reminder of my loss. For days, I stayed inside the house. I played all by myself with my dolls. I dared not venture outside. I watched my other earring like a hawk. I kept it hidden in a safe corner that I knew. I was fiercely protective of my earring.

I was no longer hysterical. I followed a comfortable pattern by staying at home. My parents though were concerned. They believed it was abnormal for a child to stay at home most of the time. They encouraged me to go out and play.

Later, when days turned to weeks, there was a subtle change in me. I realized I could not go on feeling bad everyday for my loss. I had to learn to cope or I would never be out of the pit I dug myself in.

I began to accept my loss. My chagrin turned to acceptance. It was partly because time had healed the wounds. Acceptance was the key that helped me move on and get over my loss. I was able to face the situation squarely and knew I had done my best. There was nothing left to do.

I took the one earring left and I looked at it one last time. Then I put it inside my drawer vowing never to touch it again. Somehow the act liberated me. I realized that losing the earring had helped me in a way. I was so attached to it that my confidence stemmed from it. When I lost it, I realized, I can be confident on my own. Not in something I owned, but in my abilities, in my positive qualities. I knew I could contribute something positive to the people around me even without my earrings. The earrings only served to heighten the beauty that was already there. In short, it was not the source of beauty after all. It was my character, not a piece of gem, which allowed me to shine.

I made peace with myself and with my loss. Finally, I was able to put aside the unfortunate incident and moved on.

This is a true story.

I read an article about guardian angels sometime in 1998. I found the story very interesting that is why I am able to commit this to memory.

The author is a girl studying in one of the exclusive schools in the Philippines. She was intrigued by the idea of a guardian angel. So while driving on her way to school she whispered a prayer asking God to manifest her guardian angel.

Upon arriving in school, she followed the required steps to enrol. To her surprise, not one of her friends bothered to come near her and offer to help even though they bumped with each other at the hallway.

Later that day, after she finished with the enrolment process, she approached one of her friends and asked why they seemed to be avoiding her.

To her amazement, her friend replied “We don’t want to bother you and your date.”

“Date? What date are you talking about? I was alone the entire day!” She quickly retorted.

“You can’t be serious! Then who’s the good-looking guy hovering near you the entire day?” her friend asked.

Not contented with her friend’s explanation she called the rest of her friends to ask them the same question. And all seven of her friends said the same thing.

She was accompanied by a tall, good-looking guy the entire day! Thinking that he was her date, they did not go near her. Even her classmates said the same thing.

The author surmised that the guy she was with, whom everybody saw except her, was probably her guardian angel. She prayed for the angel to manifest and God must have answered her prayers. And she excitedly shared her story to show that angels are indeed Real!

After reading her story, naturally I was curious about it. So I muttered a short prayer on my way to work asking God to manifest to me my guardian angel.

As the day dragged on, my hopes gave way to disappointment as the day seemed to end with no angel in sight.

Then a few minutes before the office closed, my officemate walked in with this beautiful carved statue. She put it on top of my table and said that she was giving it to me as a gift.

Guess what it was?

It was an angel! A cherubim actually. She was no more than 10 years old, very pretty, very sweet-looking creature.

I choked upon seeing the statue.

When my excitement subsided, I inquired from my officemate why she thought of giving me (of all things!) an angel figurine?
She replied matter-of-factly, “Well, I passed by the store to buy a rosary on my way here. Then my eye caught sight of this beautiful angel. The first thing that came to my mind when I saw it was you. I don’t know why but it reminded me of you. So I decided to buy it for you. It was just one of those spur-of-the-moment things, an instinct. I guess.”

I nodded. Then smiled widely as I thanked her.

Deep in my heart I know it wasn’t just an instinct.

It was my angel calling out to her!

A man had four sons. To teach them about the ways of the world, he sent them out one by one to observe. The first son went out during the entire winter season. When the son came back, he was full of complaints. Another went out during the entire spring. When he came back, he was full of wonderful stories. Still another went out during autumn. The son observed the bleakness of the season as the leaves fall to the ground. And the last son stayed out the whole summer and he too was overwhelmed with happiness.

The old man asked his sons what lessons they’ve learned from the real world. The two who went out during autumn and winter concluded that the real world is unwelcoming, cold and full of melancholy.

The other two sons opposed saying the real world is hospitable, filled with happiness and warmth.

The father explained to them that they look at the world differently because they witnessed different seasons. He told them that the important thing is to remember that the seasons don’t last.

If we are at the autumn or winter phase of our lives, we can take comfort in the fact that eventually we can always look forward to spring and summer.

When you have love,
you have everything!
Love is simply magical.
Love may not slay dragons
or rake in huge bucks,
but it does heal souls,
mend hearts
and soothe minds.
When we love, we partake in divinity,
in our words and actions.
Despite our imperfections,
love supersedes them.
So love well,
love more
and love long!
Let love be your guiding light all through life….
and it will return the favor a hundredfold!

Manny was a typical boy. Born and raised in poverty, he knew he could not escape his fate.
But Destiny stepped in.
He became a boxer.
Manny Pacquiao was offered a chance to be more.
And he grabbed the chance, his ticket out of oppressing poverty.
Fate plucked him from obscurity and catapulted him to immense fame.
He captured the country’s imagination, stole the people’s hearts and single-handedly put the Philippines in the sports map.
He became the People’s Champ.
Today, the moniker “Pac Man� is known to all boxing fanatics worldwide.

It is interesting to note that despite the many issues that divide the Philippines, the forthcoming boxing match between the nemeses Pacman and Erik Morales seem to unite long-time opposing forces.

Lawmakers from rival parties set aside political bickering for a day as they unite to support their fellow countryman. Competing businesses, personal foes, religious groups, warring factions even the military and the militants are willing to set aside their differences to support their countryman in the biggest fight of his life.

One person is enough to make a difference. Great people know this fact all too well.

One person plus God comprise the majority.

Update: The result of the game - Manny Pacquiao wins by knock-out in the third round.

Corey tried to cheer Gem up. He tried to crack jokes to ease the uncomfortable silence that enveloped them. Looking at Corey’s earnest eyes and infectious smile, she could not help but play along. At least they would be a couple for one day - one final time?
For the umpteenth time, Gem felt like crying.
“You’re not eating.� Corey said.
Gem forced a spoonful of lasagna in her mouth.
After dinner, Corey went to the bedroom again.
Gem stayed at the living room.
Minutes later, Corey went out of the room. He bid Gem goodbye and kissed her on the forehead. “I’m going to get something at the store.�
Gem forced a smile as she bid him goodbye.
She went inside the bedroom to get the dirty laundry in the hamper. She noticed the freshly made bed. In her rush to get things done, she forgot to attend to the bed. Corey must have noticed it and made the bed himself.
She noticed a letter neatly folded on top of her dresser when she passed by. She opened it and read the letter. It was from Cory, addressed to her.

“Dear Gem,

I know what you are going through, honey. Whatever I did, to bring you to this point, I apologize. I didn’t mean it. I wanted to give you heaven but I didn’t know that you are in hell. I respect whatever decision you can come up with, as long as you will be happy.�

Gem had to pause as tears blurred her vision, then resumed reading:

“I will not justify my actions. I am not perfect. I admit I have wronged you sometimes. But before you decide and seal our fate, please take a moment to look back what we once had. Remember I may not always show you love but I was there through the worst times.

When your car stalled, I drove all the way to where you are to fetch you.
When you fell ill, I held you in my arms to soothe your pain.
When you failed at something, I was there to comfort you.
When you felt bad, I would make you feel better.
When you want to cry, I brought a smile to your face.
You see, after all this, I know I cannot let you go. Not because I’m selfish but because I worry who will take care of you? Until such time that you will find a man who will love you as much as I do, I don’t have the heart to let you go.
I gave you a shiny gold chain the night you said ‘yes’ to my marriage proposal. I will give you another one tonight. If you take it, it means you agree to stay. If not, I understand.�

Love you honey,

Corey

Gem cried as if she had never cried before. How many times had she overlooked Corey’s gesture of love? She wanted more from him but she realized she should be more for him.
Gem went out of the bedroom to look for Corey. She saw him standing by the door, looking so uncertain. He was worried. Gem could tell. He was holding a tiny red box in his hand. When Gem approached, Corey opened the box. The shiny gold chain glittered under the light. Gem’s tears fell in quick succession. Corey looked at her. She took a few steps forward then took the chain from the box.

Corey smiled. Gem smiled at him. She nodded in silent agreement as he fumbled on the lock and struggled to put the chain around her neck. They hugged for a long time.

Outside, the world was a picture of stillness. The smell of the world after a rain storm pervaded. Finally, the storm has passed.

- End -

Gem heard a car pulled through the driveway. She glanced at the clock. It was 6 p.m. It must be Corey, home from work.
Gem hurriedly wiped off the tears. Then she proceeded to do the laundry. Corey came inside. Gem briefly looked at him.
Corey nodded in her direction. She didn’t respond.
She went to the kitchen to prepare dinner.
Corey went to the bedroom to change.
Corey came out a few minutes later in white shirt and white short pants. Corey, just like Gem, was in his late thirties. They had been married for a little over five years. Corey still looked handsome despite his age. His tall, medium-built frame looked perfect in the clothes he was wearing. Unlike other men, Corey did not have the ugly bulge on his stomach. Corey took good care of himself.
“Hi Gem.� He greeted her as he settled on the sofa.
He used to call her ‘sweetie’ now it was Gem. She sighed.
“Hi.� Gem answered wryly.
The dinner table was set.
“Shall we eat?� Corey asked.
“Yes.�
But Corey did not move from where he sat. He looked at her with those deep, probing eyes, then queried, “Is everything okay?�
“Yes.�
“You don’t seem okay.�
Gem would have wanted to shout ‘it’s none of your business!’ but she kept her emotions in closed lid. “I am.�
“I’ve been wondering about this for days.� Corey slowly said. “Tell me something. I want you to be honest.�
Gem nodded.
“Are you tired of me?� he asked squarely.
Gem was momentarily taken aback. It was a direct question that demanded an equally direct answer.
Gem sighed. She looked away. She could not bear to hurt Corey. But she needed to do this. “Yes.� She answered softly.
Corey did not seem surprise at Gem’s revelation. “I could tell�, was all he said.
Gem waited more from him but when none came, she asked “So what do you intend to do about it?�
“Nothing.�
“Nothing?�
“Yes. Nothing. Am I supposed to do something?�
“Yes!� Gem shrieked out. “For our marriage’s sake you are SUPPOSED to do something about it. I EXPECT you to do something about it!� She was shouting at the top of her lungs now. What was worse, she was way past caring.
Corey was caught off-guard. He was momentarily at a loss for words. When he regained his poise, he managed to ask “What do you want me to do?�
“I want you to look deeper into yourself and know where you failed me.� Gem said in no uncertain terms.
“But honey, you need to know, whatever grief I caused you, I didn’t do it intentionally. I love you all this time.� Corey said empathically.
“I wish I can believe you, Corey.� Gem said in hushed tone.
Then she walked away, feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders. Corey looked at her for a long time.
Gem felt a bit guilty for telling him off. She wondered if she had hurt him.
Gem didn’t speak. She sat down in her chair and ate silently. Corey sat and ate with her. He too was silent. She wondered what Corey was thinking. If he thought he could woo her back then he was wrong. This problem had dragged on for so long, it was beyond repair. If she would not act soon, the problem would occur over and over again. A vicious cycle. She felt obliged to put a stop to it right here, right now.
(To be continued)

Gem was in a quandary.
She had not been feeling well these past few days. Well, for the longest time actually. She was alone at home. Her husband, Corey, was out to work. She had been spending the whole day cleaning the house. Satisfied with her efforts, she got herself a hot mocha to drink. She used to share hot mocha drink with Corey. But not anymore. She sighed. Then she sat by the table and mulled. She felt lonely.
She instinctively looked through the window.
Outside the world looked dark and dreary, as dark and dreary as she felt inside. It rained so hard the whole day.
‘Nature empathizes with me.’ She thought with a sinking feeling.
It had been her natural state for the past days, weeks even.
She could not tell exactly when it started - this depression, this gnawing anxiety. An amalgamation of events led her to this bleak day.
It probably escalated when she and Corey quarreled a few days back. They had petty quarrels even before. Gem somehow felt she was at the end of her rope.
She needed Corey.
But then, she also needed something more from him.
Corey’s love had been a beckon of hope for her all through these years. Somehow as the years went by, the light extinguished.
She woke up one day and the love was gone!
They must have drifted apart somewhere along the way without their knowledge. The bond they shared eroded as the years passed.
Gem sighed. Her hands shook. She spilled the hot mocha on the white tablecloth, much to her dismay. She quickly wiped off the spill. Then hastily picked up the stained cloth and soaked it in water.
As she headed to the laundry room, her eye got caught by Corey’s new pair of tennis shoes, idly leaning against the wall.
Gem felt a stab of pain through her heart. They bought the tennis shoes together because Corey wanted to teach her to play tennis.
She declined.
Corey could not handle the rejection. They quarreled and now they were no longer in speaking terms.
It was all her fault! But what else could she do? She could not feel the chemistry between them anymore. Their lives fell into a predictable pattern. They were so comfortable with each other that they took each other for granted. Gone were the days that they would go out on a date. Corey would not even say ‘I love you’ to her like he used to. They did not talk as often as before.
It was getting harder and harder to be around Corey. She did not want to pretend anymore.
She didn’t want to cry. She tried to hold back the tears. Yet, the tears came streaming down.
(To be continued)

If you’ve been trying to kick off that worry habit and haven’t succeeded so far, maybe this secret formula could help.

I used to be a worrier. I worry about money, my job, my family, my fiance, my health, so on and so forth. Why, sometimes I even worry about worrying.

That I was a constant worrier was a major understatement. Until, I stumbled onto this wonderful counter-worrying formula.

I got so tired of worrying one night that I found myself leafing through the pages of the Bible. I consider myself a spiritual person but I’m not exactly religious. Reading the Bible was not something I would normally do. But I don’t know what happened that night. Maybe I got so fed up with myself that I turned to the Bible for some advice.

I didn’t get any advice on worrying though. The next thing I knew I fell asleep in the middle of reading the Bible. When I woke up a few minutes later, I felt totally invigorated - as if I’ve been asleep whole day.

Every night since then, I read the Bible several minutes before I sleep. I started with the Letter from James. Then progressed to Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

After reading a passage or two, I would ponder on it for awhile. Extract the positive things that I learn from the passage then mutter a short prayer.

It works!

I noticed a few days later that I no longer dwell on negative things. Worry is effectively quelled.

Everyday I wake up with this unexplained joy, overflowing gratitude, unruffled nerves and quiet peace.

By saturating my mind with positive thoughts a few minutes before I sleep, the subconscious mind is filled, little by little, with positive input which effectively wipe out or set aside any negativity I unwittingly imbibed during the day.

I can honestly say that I feel a lot better now because of this simple formula.

Try it and see for yourself.

I had a slight fever one day. My head throbbed. And my throat was sore. After work, I headed to the house immediately. I would have wanted to buy some stuffs from the department store or hang out in a resturant. But my body was begging for a respite.

After I got into my room, I went to the kitchen to get hot water. A friend was there. She talked lengthily about food and her future plans that my own plan of lounging in my room was temporarily shelved. The conversation was truly engaging. And I found out that we have a lot of things in common particularly in attitudes and values.

For someone so young (she’s only 18 years old), it is refreshing to note that she has a lot of plans for her future. Foresight is a trait that seems to be in short supply these days. Most young people I know appear to live for the here and now. What they don’t know is that life is synonymous with growth. Without growth, life becomes stagnant. And a stagnant life has no future.

A very vicious cycle indeed.

Tiger Woods once said in an interview, “You get out of golf what you put into it. If you bust your butt and work hard, you will improve.”

The same is true in life. You get out of life what you put in it too.

Let’s face it. Life is a continuous battle between good or evil. We are faced with this dilemma every single day of our lives, in every choice we make.

Like a tug-of-war, we are pulled in opposing directions. And every time we make a choice, we are reinforcing our values, our character, our destiny- for better or worse.

There is just no middleway. Even the Bible scoffed at the idea of being ‘lukewarm’. It is either you are for God or against Him. You’re either part of the solution or part of the problem. There is simply no in-between. Make a stand. That’s what it all boils down to.

Doing what’s good, even though hard, will not only gain you blessings and favor before God’s eyes but more so eternal happiness. The kind of happiness that does not need validation from others. The kind that stays with you even during rough times. People who are acquainted with God’s ways know that God is always there to help. Rough times could not dampen their hopes for God. HE is always there at the appropriate time. So why worry?

This is probably the thing that those who don’t believe in God lacks. They rely on their efforts alone or, if not, on other people who are as frail as them. They have no external and internal support. When their efforts fail, everything falls apart.

At some point in our lives, we all face struggles that simply overwhelm us. During those times, we need to look beyond ourselves for assistance to be able to cope. With God, we will find that strength that will make us better equipped to face life’s struggles.

Goodness prevails in the end.

I read this very interesting article about loving a person.

It says that there are five languages of love or simply the ways of showing you love a person. And the object of your affection responds to the language that appeals to him or her the most. They believe that you love them once they see you do one or a couple of these things.

What are these five languages?

1. giving gifts
2. spending time
3. service
4. physical touch
5. communication

Giving gifts - some people appreciate receiving gifts. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not implying that your loved ones are materialistic but it simply means that for them the language of love is in giving or receiving for that matter. If they see you making the effort to give them something, they love you all the more for that because to them giving equals loving. See what I mean? So if you give, it is a sign that you love them. It is the language of love that they understand the most.

It doesn’t matter if you give them a rare pink diamond or a common single rose. The value of what you give doesn’t count here but the act of giving itself. Giving in the long run is not merely an act but a way of imparting our selves to others. So give and you will be blessed with love abundantly!

Spending time - some of our loved ones respond most or appreciate you more if you spend time with them. They believe that they are precious because you find the time to be with them. It is not necessarily the quantity of time but quality time. There is a huge difference between the two. You may spend 24/7 with that person and they still don’t feel loved. Quality time is spending time with the loved ones, even just a few minutes a day, affirming your love to them by words or actions or even sharing comfortable silence. Indeed, silence could speak volumes. Show your love make them feel loved every time you spend with them and they will love you all the more for it.

Service - I am not referring to the over-the-top, grand kind of service. Service is simply helping a loved one. It could be carrying the luggages for her or him. The shopping bags. Running errands. Picking up the laundry on the way home. Opening the door. Making a cup of coffee. Anything, even the simplest things that make life a bit comfortable for him or her. Some people appreciate these more than diamonds or other expensive things. So don’t forget service as a way of expressing love.

Physical touch - your loved one could be the kind who loves holding hands, kissing, touching the arm, hugging, etc., etc. The etcs. mean I am giving you room to be creative. Let’s face it touch is one of the most important love language. It is probably the most basic too. Who doesn’t want to be hugged or kissed or hold hands with? But some people want it more or at a higher degree than others. So if your loved one prefers physical touch as an expression of love, it doesnt hurt to hug or kiss her/him everyday.

Communication - they say communication is the lifeblood of every relationship. It’s true. It can either create havoc or bliss on your relationships. Some of our loved ones prefer communication as a way of demonstrating our love to them. They love to hear ‘ i love you’ or be told that they are beautiful or that you love them just the way they are. Just a few words from you could feed their hunger for love. So, communicate LOVE. Say it. Don’t let the person go on guessing. They might not respond to actions or gifts. But simple ‘ i love you’ could do the trick!

There you go. The five secrets of loving and expressing love. Hope the object of your affection will finally understand what you’ve been trying to say all along and respond accordingly. It doesn’t hurt to give them a try. Go on and spread love!