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Humor

The Wrong in the World

Thursday, August 14th, 2008

I offer the following as an example of where things are awry…

Thanks!
By Journyman

I’d like to thank the priests of God, who ease our mortal pain
By taking all that we can give, so it’s not in our name
Apparently the more we own, the harder Heaven’s road
So those who reap the peasant’s tithe, will take the rich man’s load
Listen to them preach and pray, for we won’t have them long
If we achieve the Promised Land, they’re too rich to belong
So think of them with kindest thoughts, they save us all from Hell
As we ascend in rapture’s grip, look down and wish them well

I’d like to thank the Corporate men, who take a pirate’s stand
We don’t need the warlike types, to steal a valued land
With economic argument, and Christian’s pious hat
They set greed’s standard very high, we can’t compare to that
They set themselves above the law, no Government control
With money tricks and interest rates, create a cash black hole
We can’t aim high enough to count, in poverty’s deep groove
It’s really very noble work, temptation to remove

I’d like to thank the men who run, all of our sovereign realms
The ships of State in maelstrom caught, but still they fight for helms
It’s good of them to take the task, of pulling grubby strings
To tax our birth, our life and death, so they can buy more things
While they stand out at power’s peak, we all seem meek and mild
When standing in the Judgement court, it’s they will be reviled
If we can’t make our own life’s choice, we can’t be said to fault
So thank them, pray they won’t decide, their power grab to halt

I’d like to thank the average man, Joe Public to us all
Somehow through all the evil times, he hears compassion’s call
He’s the one, when said and done, to meet production’s need
He works long hours and toils away, his family to feed
All the money of the Church, for which the taxman yearns
And Corporate profits, (sacrosanct) the average person earns
There is no other source of funds, than what the people make
If they all didn’t work their shifts, there’d be no cash to take

Obituary for Common Sense

Friday, July 4th, 2008

waterlilysmall.jpg‘Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No-one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to come in out of the rain; why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn’t always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an Aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I’m A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.’

Author Unknown

I don’t think there is much more to say.
Found here.

Where the Hell is Matt?

Wednesday, July 2nd, 2008

Just in case anyone is offended by the title of this post, I would like you to know that the title comes from the website URL and video title that I will be talking about below.

Recently I was looking through my friends blogs and saw that one person had put up a video. This person often introduces me to funny/interesting things and new music, so I certainly wasn’t going to pass it by. However, upon watching the video, I had a reaction that puzzled even me, who was reacting.

Before I tell you what the reaction was, I’d like you to watch the video:

This video was made by Matt, who now runs WheretheHellIsMatt.com. What he does is basically what you see on this video; he travels to places all over the world and videotapes his strange and funny dance. As you can see in this video, he sometimes gets people to dance with him as well.

How did I react to seeing this video? I got teary-eyed.

Yes, as strange as it sounds, this video very nearly made me cry. As you can imagine, that puzzled me.

I was not crying for sadness nor for extreme joy. For many minutes after watching the video, I sat wondering what exactly I was feeling.

I think that in these days of rising prices, global warming, terrorism, war, etc, that we get run down. Sometimes we realize it, sometimes we don’t, but we get run down by all these images and stories of what is horrible and rotten with the world. It is because of that that I almost cried when I watched this video.

Matt makes it clear that the message of this video is whatever you think it is. I take it to be connection. That we are all human and we can all have happiness. We can all work together if we so choose.

Please take from this video what you will and pass it on if it makes you feel anything good. Because there are too many people out there who are run down and down realize it. Too many people who truly need a glimpse of hope.

Pledge

Wednesday, June 4th, 2008

stainglass.jpgThis came through an email, so apologies for not being able to credit its original author.

Finally, I’d like to offer up the following, slightly modified, version of the Pledge of Allegiance.

I pledge allegiance
To the flag
Of the United State of America
And to the Republic
For which it stands
One nation
Under God, Yahweh, Allah, Vishnu, Kali, Shiva, Brahma, Saraswathi, Lakshmi, Parvathi, Ganesha, Anjaneya, Gaea, Uranus, Cronus, Rhea, Oceanus, Tethys, Hyperion, Mnemosyne, Themis, Iapetus, Coeus, Crius, Phoebe, Thea, Prometheus, Epimetheus, Atlas, Metis, Dione, Zeus, Poseidon, Hades, Hestia, Hera, Ares, Athena, Apollo, Aphrodite, Hermes, Artemis, Hephaestus, Asclepius, Demeter, Persephone, Dionysus, Eros, Hebe, Eris, Helius, Thanatos, Pan, Nemesis, The Graces, The Muses, The Erinyes, The Fates, Iuppiter, Iuno, Minerva, Vesta, Ceres, Diana, Venus, Mars, Mercurius, Neptunus, Volcanus, and Apollo, Ianus, Saturnus, Quirinus, Volturnus, Pales, Furrina, Flora, Carmenta, Pomona, Portunus, Fontanus, Aker, Amun, Ammut, Anubis, Aten, Bastet, Geb, Hapi, Hathor, Horus, Isis, Khepri, Khnum, Maat, Min, Mut, Neith, Nepthys, Nut, Osiris, Ptah, Ra, Sekhmet, Seshat, Seth, Sobek, Taurt, Thoth, Anu, Ninhursag, Enlil, Enki, Marduk, Tiamat, Kingu, Nabu, Ishtar, Ea, Enurta, Anshar, Shamash, Ashur, Kishar, Tao, Amaethon, Angus Mac Og, Arawn, Brainthus, Belatuadros, Beli, Borvo, Bran the Blessed, Camulos, Cernunnos, Condatis, Dispater, Dwyvan, Dylan, Esus, Govannon, Grannos, Gwyddno, the Horned God, Llud, Lugh, Mandred, Myrrdin Wyllt, Oghma, Achtland, Adsullata, Aerten, Agrona, Aife, Aine, Andarta, Andraste, Anu, Aoibhell, Ariadne, Arianrhood, Arnamentia, Aveta, Badb, Belisama, Blodeuwedd, Brigantia, Bridgid, Britannia, Cailleach Bheur, Cerridwen, Cliodna, Clota, Condwiramur, Corra, Coventina, Cred, Creddylad, Cyhiraeth, Damara, Damona, Divona, Druantia, Epona, Erce, Goewin, Habetrot, Henwen, Latis, Le Fay, Marcia Proba, Modron, Morgan LeFAy, Morgay, Morrigan, Nantosuelta, Nicevenn, Nimue, Oanuava, Njord, Freyr, Frigg, Freyja, Nanna, Skadi, Hermod, Odin, Bor, Tyr, Loki, Heimdall, Ulle, Forsetti, Aegir, Ran, Hel, Sif, Bragi, Idun, Balder, Ve, Vili, Vidar, Hod, Ba, Bixia Yuanjin, Cai-shen, Cao Guo-Jiu, Cheng-Huang, Chu Jiang, Dha-Shi-Zhi, Di-cang, Di-guan, Dong-yue da-di, Dou mu, Er-lang, Fan-Kui, Fei Lian, Feng Po-po, Fu-zing, Gao Yao, Gong De Tian, Gou Mang, Guan-di, Gui Xian, Gun, Han, Han Xian-zi, He Bo, Heng O, Hou JI, How-Chu, How-too, Hu Jing-de, Huang Fei-hu, Huang-lao, Huang-lao-jun, Ji Nu, Jian Lao, Jin Jia, Kui-xing, Kwan Yin, Lan Cai-he, Lao-jun, Lei-gong, Lei-zi, Li Tie-guai, Ling-bao tian-zong, Lieu Bei, Long-wang, Lu Ban, Lu Dong-bin, Lu-xing, ma Wang, Ma-mian, Men-shen, Mo-hi-hai, Mu Gong, Mu-king, Niu Want, Nu-gua, Pa, Pa-cha, Pan Jin Lian, Pan-gu, Qi Gu-niang, Ru Shou, San-qing, San-xing, Shen Yi, Shen-nung, Shou-lao, Shou-xing, Shui-guan, si-ming, Song Di, Song-zi niang-niang, Sun-pi, Tai-sui-xing, Tai-yi, Tai-yue da-di, Tao-de tian-zong, Tian Hou, Tian-guan, Tian-mu, Tu-di, Want Mu niang-niang, Wei Cheng, Wei-tuo, Wen-chang, Wen-shu, Wu Guan, Xi Shi, Xi Want-mu, Xian, Yang Jing, Yan-lo, Yao-shi, Yen-lo-wang, Yi-Ti, Yuan-shi tian-zong, Yu-huang, Yu-qiang, Zao-jun, Zhang Fei, Zhang Xian, Zhi Song-zi, Zhi-ni, Zhong kui, Zhu Rong, Zi-yu, Anguta, Aningan, Asgaya Gigagei, Atira, Awonawilona, Big Heads, Breathmaker, Coyote, eohako, Estanatlehi, Evening Star, First Man, First Woman, Gahe, Sluskap, Hio, Irdlirvirisissong, Kanati, Kitcki Manitou, Michabo, Morning Star, Magenatzani, Nesaru, Nokomis, North Star, Ocasta, Olelbis, Rabbit, Raven, Sedna, Selu, Shakura, South Star, Sun, Tekkeitserktock, Tirarwa-Atius, Thobadestchin, Thoume, Torngasak, Twin Thunder Bosy, Wachabe, Centeotl, Chalchiuhtlicue, Chantico, Chicomecoatl, Cihuacaotyl, Coatlicue, Ehecatl, Huehueteotl, Huitzilopochtli, Iztpzpalotl, Iztlilton, Macuilzochitl, Metztli, Mictlan, Mictlantecuhtle, Mictlantecihuatl, Ometecuhlti, Patecatli, Paynal, Quetzalcoatl, Teoyaomqui, Tezcatlipoca, Tlaloc, Tlazolteotl, Tonacatecuhtli, Tonatiuh, Tonantzin, Xilonen, Zipe Totec, Xiuhetecuhtle, Xochipilli, Yacatecuhtli, Apo, Apocatequil, Apu Illapu, Catequil, Cavillaca, Chasca, Chasca Coyllur, Cocomama, Coniraya, Copacati, Ekkeko, Huaca, Illapa, Inti, Ka-Ata-Killa, Kon, Mama Allpa, Mam Cocha, Mama Oello, Mama Pacha Mama Quilla, Manco Capac, Pachacamac, Pariacaca, Paricia, Punchau, Supay, Rucaguary, Vichama, Viracocha, Zaramama, the Triple Goddess, the Divine, Hastur, Cthulu, Yog Sothoth, the Great Old ones, the Elder Gods, and any other gods or goddesses that may be added at a later date as they are discovered,
Indivisible
With liberty and justice for all.

Oh, and if you forget any of the names in the above list, you’re not a real American. If you don’t like it, don’t let the door hit you in the back as you’re leaving for Canada.

About Spirituality Guide

Is there a God? Are we alone in the universe? What does life mean? It's not strange or unusual to ask these questions of yourself and of the universe, no matter what your upbringing. Spirituality Guide isn't going to answer those questions for you. Rather, this site is a place where you can explore all these and more. This is a place to question and contribute. And maybe find yourself along the way.

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