Spirituality Guide

While you could say my journey to and up the mountain was driven by randomly picking a spot on a map and everything that occurred was just something my own mind conjured up. Yes, you could definitely say that.

I’m not going to dispute that what happens to us in this in life is made up a lot of things we cause. Life is what we make of it and we often reap what we sow, so to say. A negative person is going to find other negative people to be around or is going to be alone, thus enforcing the negativity towards life and others.

However, if you said that about my journey, I would point you to athletes who say that you never truly know yourself until you find your physical limits. You never truly find the person inside until you have breached all barriers of doubt and fear.

So if you are uncomfortable with calling my journey a spiritual one or with me saying I found the peace I was meant to find by going there, then think of it like an athlete thinks: I went hiking.

On that hike I wanted to turn back many times for many reasons, but I kept on because I had a goal I wanted to accomplish. It was only when I stopped wanting to turn back that I felt like I accomplished that goal.

And having accomplished that goal, I feel like a better person.

Funny how so many of us say the same thing, just in different ways…

(I’m posting these in reverse order so you can read them from top to bottom.)

Occasionally we are ‘called’ – or ‘feel inclined’ if you’re not comfortable with the term ‘called’ – to do things and go to places we wouldn’t usually go. Recently I started to become more and more agitated for no apparent reason until it occurred to me to travel to a mountain range to the west. I was still concerned about the journey, but it felt right to go there.

My partner and I didn’t get into the actual mountains until the third day of our trip, but it was worth the wait. There is something about the mountains that helps me to feel connected to things. It also helps me to realize there is so much more than just what is going on in the present and what I have in front of me. The mountains mean so much more and hold so much more than my daily life.

I picked the place I wanted to go based purely on my ‘gut’ instinct. The place I picked had drawn me since I first saw it on the map and I knew it was the place to go. I didn’t know what I would do when I got there or what I would learn – if anything – but I did know that I had to be there. I had to experience it.

When we finally found the place we were meant to go – a nearly hidden walking trail off the main road (if you can call it a road with all the dirt, rocks, bumps, and other difficulties). We got out of the car, took our water and camera, and headed on our way.

(I’m posting these in reverse order so you can read them from top to bottom.)

The journey up the mountain wasn’t as steep as other mountain trails I had climbed, but it was much longer. Climbing/walking up began to become a challenge for me on all fronts – mentally, physically, and emotionally – and I began to wonder why I was putting myself through all this.

The first trial came physically as I began sweating profusely and needing breaks to catch my breath. It was hard not to entertain the idea of turning back, but I squashed the thoughts and kept moving on. I knew that it was a matter of mind over body and that I could keep going.

The next trial brought the mental. My mind began focusing on ‘that next hill’ and how steep the next part would be. I began to doubt myself, wondering how far I could possibly go when I wasn’t exactly in the fittest shape of my life.

My partner and I took a break and I told him that I was starting to defeat myself mentally when it came to this journey. He remained quiet most of the time, making sure I drank water and rested, knowing that this journey was about me and something I needed to do. The mental barriers lessened as I recognized them for what they were – mental and nothing more.

We travelled on and that’s when I began to get emotional. Many times I almost started crying, both at the thought of continuing on without knowing how long the trail was and at the thought of turning back before reaching the end. I began taking longer rests not only to revive myself physically but to revive myself emotionally.

(I’m posting these in reverse order so you can read them from top to bottom.)

Having dealt with the physical, emotional, and mental challenges while on the mountain path, I began talking to my partner about what I had been through and wondering if getting past those challenges was what I had been meant to accomplish at this point.

I rested once more as he went ahead to see if there was any sign that we were close to the end of the trail, and I began to think about what I had told him. The place I rested was a large flat rock with more rocks like it nearby. Nowhere else on the trail was there anything like it. The flat rock was massive, easily taking three of me laid foot to head across it both ways.

Dark clouds became more condensed and I felt the first of the cold rain drops land on my hot skin. I considered further how I felt about having pushed all of my limits and accomplished so much, even though we hadn’t reached the end of the trail.

My partner and I met up, and we found that the trail headed downward once more, with no lookout to be found even though we had been climbing upward for kilometers. We looked at each other and debated whether going forward would be a bad thing to do with the storm so close.

I searched my feelings and that was when I truly felt like I had accomplished what I was meant to accomplish on that trail. No longer did the thought of turning back reduce me to tears and feelings of unease. In fact, I felt revived, peaceful, changed. I had a new burst of energy.

The rain flooded down on us as we descended, washing away all the dirt, sweat, and strain from the journey up. Though cold with the wind and a bit intimidating with the thunder and lightning, I felt the rain completed everything, washing away the grime of the past to leave the slightly newer, changed me.

The standard view towards intuition is one of wariness or outright scorn because intuition is equated along the same line as psychic or ‘sensitive’. However, if you use the word ‘instinct’ instead, then you are far more likely to get an attentive and accepting audience.

It’s interesting how two words can mean basically the same thing and yet the connotations attached to those words can influence how you think and feel.

I’m not saying that intuition and instinct are the same thing, but I am trying to point out the similarities. Both come from places other than our conscious minds and both are things we react to even though we may not realize what it is we are reacting to.

Intuition is defined as “direct perception of truth, fact, etc., independent of any reasoning process; immediate apprehension.”

Whereas instinct is defined as “an inborn pattern of activity or tendency to action common to a given biological species.”

I feel the need to make this distinction because, while instinct is a commonly used word mainly without negative feelings attached, it’s often mixed up with intuition, which I feel is a more spiritual experience.

When I write for this site, I let my intuition guide me. I had fully planned on starting my exploration of the major religions, but something in me compelled me to talk about intuition and instinct. Intuition is something that has been influencing me lately. While I don’t want a lot of my personal life and beliefs to come to play on this site, it seems they have anyway.

Despite the negative attachments to ‘intuition’ I will be talking about it on this site. Whether you feel guided or inclined to feel the same about it as I do is completely up to you, and I certainly won’t judge you for it.

Yesterday I began talking about something mentioned in The Matrix and got a little off tangent. I apologize for that. It’s beginning to become a bad habit of mine.

Back to the main topic:

In the Matrix trilogy – the second movie, I believe – there is a conversation in which it is said that, basically, humans as they are could not tolerate paradise, heaven, Eden, whatever you would like to call it. Humans define their lives through their suffering.

Is this true? What does it mean for humanity? What does it have to do with spirituality?

Simplified, what your answer is to the first question could just be a matter of whether you are an optimist or pessimist. That’s simplifying it quite a bit, but it works.

With a world with such emphasis put on hard work and working to earn what you need, it’s easy to say that it is true. However, in the past decades, we have shifted into such a world of haves and have-nots that a life of hard work get truly get you nowhere.

So do we truly define ourselves through our suffering or is that merely the biggest label we have been given to define ourselves with?

What does this have to do with spirituality? Think of the mind maps. With the mind mapping you are trying to figure out the inner, subconscious beliefs and where they come from. Now, if a small group of ‘big haves’ in the world are telling you that you have to work hard for your whole life, told your parents that, told their parents that…

If you haven’t seen The Matrix trilogy, I recommend you give it a try. If you can watch it and take a step further into the area of critical thinking, you might just start thinking of some interesting possibilities when it comes to the source of what makes you, you.

In the Matrix trilogy – the second movie, I believe – there is a conversation in which it is said that, basically, humans as they are could not tolerate paradise, heaven, Eden, whatever you would like to call it. Humans define their lives through their suffering.

Is this true? What does it mean for humanity? What does it have to do with spirituality?

To answer the last question first: A lot, actually.

When you define (or try to define) human nature, you then step into the territory of what makes us who we are. That can venture into a multitude of different subjects such as the soul, the mind, the Self, how humans got started out, how life on this planet got started… You can see where I’m going. There are a lot of subjects.

The same goes with the second question. You move into territory like global consciousness, evolution, our future as a species…

Now, perhaps, you can begin to see why spirituality can be so hard to define.

Even the answer to the first question can have a lot of implications. No matter what the answer, why? If yes, is it inherent or learned? If it is inherent, where from? Why?

“Why?” is always the big question, isn’t it?

Which brings me to the next question – why am I telling you about this? What am I on about?
I suppose the first thing (I seem to get in a habit of multi-part entries on this site) I would like to point out is simply all the questions.

If not proof, this should show you that no one knows all the answers. We, in our current state, simply cannot know anything without doubt.

This is where the protests start, but ‘knowing without doubt’ and ‘believing without doubt’ are two separate things – as much as some would like to try to convince people otherwise.

More to come…

Something to know about changing your life, your Self, is that is not comfortable. It isn’t easy, it isn’t a key to automatic happiness (though it can bring you happiness), and there will probably be more than one time that you just want to quit exploring and go back to what you know.

Because, after all, isn’t the evil you know better than the evil you don’t?

This path isn’t always going to be ‘aha!’ and ‘wonderful!’ because it’s likely that you’ll be facing past events and beliefs that are upsetting. You may realize that people you once held close to you are not actually good for you. You may have to leave behind what you used to love.

If you’re not willing to do that, I am not going to judge you. Change is hard. Even if what you have is hell, it’s still hard to pick up and head for the unknown heaven.

Going back to the graffiti on your wall, if you’ve ever tried to clean anything like that, you’ll know it takes a lot of time and a lot of scrubbing. Just remember, though, that all that scrubbing, as hard as it is, can reveal some truly beautiful things underneath.

Why am I warning you yet again? I suppose it’s simply from personal experience. When you start working with these sorts of things, you can often open issues and things that don’t particularly like being ignored once they have opened.

You may experience memory triggers, needing to change your environment, and even needing to change the people you associate with. Not easy, by any means.

But if you’re ready, then best wishes for your journey.

The mind has been interpreted many ways over the thousands of years, a testament to the mystery that is the mind. Where does it truly start? Where does it truly end? Does it ever end? What makes you you?

I have had the mind and how other people explained to me in many ways, but with the previous posts about mind mapping, a new metaphor comes to my mind.

Think of your mind as a blank brick wall when you are born. There is nothing there but brick and everything holding the bricks together. The wall is blank.

When you are young is when people can leave the biggest imprints on your wall. They have an easier time leaving graffiti – their own messages and beliefs from their own walls. People have an easier time making scratches and gouges in the bricks. They can even destroy parts of the wall and build them back up in ways they see fit.

As you grow older, it tends to be (but isn’t always the case) a little harder for people to do those things – especially tearing down parts of the wall. It still happens and your wall can still be completely destroyed, but (hopefully) you have a few defenses to help you.

Of course, depending on your beliefs, you could get into the influences of previous lives what that could do to your wall, but as I haven’t touched on the subject of reincarnation, how about we leave that alone for today?

What does this all mean for you as a person? In terms of the metaphor, it means that people can change. Beliefs can change. But it can take a lot of time and a lot of hard work, especially when it comes to the painful gouges and slanderous graffiti people have left behind.

But it can be done.

Wouldn’t you rather work to create your own wall instead of letting other people dictate what it looks like?